Ramifications of smoking and denial

Okay, this blog will be heavy on the crap associated with smoking and what it does to people.

Here's why: On July 16, 2005, my husband's sister lost her battle with lung cancer. She had been a lifelong smoker and had only quit the year before when hospitalized for esophogeal cancer. She'd been given the all clear on her esophogus in February, only to discover in early June that she had multiple lesions on her bones and then they discovered the lung cancer.

Currently, my mom is battling small cell lung cancer AND several large, cancerous tumors in her abdomen. She's been in denial about it-and probably will be until the end. She does not want to believe that all those cigarettes she didn't inhale could pockmark her lungs and make her life miserable. She didn't think it could happen to her, even when my dad (her ex) had cancer and had first his thyroid, then his voice box removed as a direct result of smoking. After all, he smoked two packs of unfiltered Camels a day and she only smoked a pack of Marlboros.

Based on what the doctors told my eldest sister, we'll be lucky if she makes it until Christmas.

A little over a year ago, my family made the move to Florida. Many factors were involved in the decision, but I think the reason why we hadn't moved years earlier is because I had to accept that I'd be the primary caretaker for several of our loved ones on both sides of the family if we did this. I'm okay with that-I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.

I'm already a casualty of the smoking that occurred in my house when I was a kid-seven smokers, one house=asthma for me. I was diagnosed at seven years old, but only discovered this last year. In using my inhalers when staying with Mom, she commented that the doctor told her that I had asthma, but didn't believe him. I suffered through bronchitis all winter, every winter as a kid until I sought out an ENT and an allergist as an adult with new health insurance of my own. I can surmise that the pediatrician told her that she (and everyone else) had to quit smoking, and that was the end of that.

Whenever the topic of smoking came up, my mom was convinced that her smoking wouldn't kill her. I think the denial she's got right now is from discovering that the cancer she is afflicted with happens ONLY to smokers.

It's hard to not be angry at the tobacco companies and their marketing departments for making it look so cool to smoke back in the 40's, 50's and 60's. It is hard to fathom, for a non smoker, why someone would want to inhale something that smells so nasty. It doesn't appear that it causes the user to get happy, euphoric or feel good like other drugs or alcohol.

My sons both, at the tender ages of 6 and 9, have seen the end results of cancer-they went to New York to be with their aunt for the last two weeks of her life. They know that cancer took both grandfathers. My mom wants them around-and I do, too. It's made a lifelong impression-and I'm sure my rather vocal younger son will not hesitate to tell his peers when they offer him a cigarette someday "Hey, I lost three grandparents to smoking, no way will I take that".

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